Uncle Kenny's BLOG
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
First Listen: Cast Recording, 'The Book Of Mormon' : NPR
First Listen: Cast Recording, 'The Book Of Mormon' : NPR: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Writing a Condolence Note - Grief Support at LegacyConnect
Writing a Condolence Note - Grief Support at LegacyConnect: "Focusing only on happy thoughts, it is usually easy for most of us to write an anniversary or birthday greeting. But writing a condolence note is something altogether different because, quite often, we don't know what to say
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Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
I have sold this BLOG to a fellow in Colorado. He paid handsomely for this, since his name is Kenny and he is an uncle with unusual tastes, deep pockets, and a sense of the absurd and bizarre.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Some twat said duct tape was a guy thing.
I went to my truck, grabbed a new roll, and came back and took a couple of turns of 2" tape around her head and shut her up while I explained she was being a sexist.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
My Moroccan Neighbors Won't Stop Their Damn Ululating | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
My Moroccan Neighbors Won't Stop Their Damn Ululating | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "My Moroccan Neighbors Won't Stop Their Damn Ululating
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Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Angry Traveler’s Guide to Obscene Gestures |
The Angry Traveler’s Guide to Obscene Gestures |: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"
The United States of Shame (CHART) |
The United States of Shame (CHART) |: "- Sent using Google Toolbar" We love our pets in Washington.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Police: Dispute Over Snow
Police: Dispute Over Snow Leaves Man Hit With Shovel - News Story - WHIO Dayton: "Police: Dispute Over Snow Leaves Man Hit With Shovel
Posted: 4:13 pm EST January 10, 2011Updated: 7:53 am EST January 11, 2011
BELLEFONTAINE, Ohio -- A Bellefontaine man was arrested after police said he attacked his neighbor with a shovel.
The attack happened over the weekend near North Elm Street.
According to police, 48-year-old Scott Wayt and his neighbor were removing snow from their driveways at the same time. Wayt's neighbor was using a snow blower, which was blowing snow into an alley near Wayt's home, police said.
In retaliation, Wayt shoveled the snow back over a retaining wall and into the other man's driveway, police said. After the snow hit the man in the face, he climbed the retaining wall to confront Wayt and that is when he hit the man in the head with his shovel, police said.
Wayt now faces charges of felonious assault. The victim was treated by medics and is expected to be fine.
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UK has always fantasized about taking out a punk with a snow shovel. One whack on the back of the head until the shovel and handle ring!
Posted: 4:13 pm EST January 10, 2011Updated: 7:53 am EST January 11, 2011
BELLEFONTAINE, Ohio -- A Bellefontaine man was arrested after police said he attacked his neighbor with a shovel.
The attack happened over the weekend near North Elm Street.
According to police, 48-year-old Scott Wayt and his neighbor were removing snow from their driveways at the same time. Wayt's neighbor was using a snow blower, which was blowing snow into an alley near Wayt's home, police said.
In retaliation, Wayt shoveled the snow back over a retaining wall and into the other man's driveway, police said. After the snow hit the man in the face, he climbed the retaining wall to confront Wayt and that is when he hit the man in the head with his shovel, police said.
Wayt now faces charges of felonious assault. The victim was treated by medics and is expected to be fine.
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UK has always fantasized about taking out a punk with a snow shovel. One whack on the back of the head until the shovel and handle ring!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Guest Blog: The top 10 life-forms living on Lady Gaga (and you)
Guest Blog: The top 10 life-forms living on Lady Gaga (and you): "The top 10 life-forms living on Lady Gaga (and you)
By Rob Dunn | Jan 4, 2011 10:03 AM
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By Rob Dunn | Jan 4, 2011 10:03 AM
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Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion more like a squalid prison say former Playmates | Mail Online
Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion more like a squalid prison say former Playmates | Mail Online: "Playboy mansion? More like a squalid prison: Former Playmates tell of 'grubby' world inside Hugh Hefner's empire
By David Leafe
Last updated at 12:39 AM on 31st December 2010
* Comments (173)
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The marriage proposal was apparently a rather romantic affair. On Christmas Eve, the couple watched a late-night movie together and then exchanged gifts: for him a framed photograph of their King Charles Spaniel, for her an engagement ring.
‘She burst into tears,’ he revealed on Twitter at the weekend. ‘This is the happiest Christmas in memory.’
‘The most memorable Christmas ever,’ she tweeted in agreement. ‘I love him.’
All of which might be rather more touching if the prospective groom was not Playboy tycoon Hugh Hefner who, at 84, is 60 years older than his fiancée, a platinum blonde model named Crystal Harris.
Match made in heaven?: Hugh Hefner has become engaged to Crystal Harris over Christmas - despite the 60 year age difference between the couple
Match made in heaven?: Hugh Hefner has become engaged to Crystal Harris over Christmas - despite the 60 year age difference between the couple
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By David Leafe
Last updated at 12:39 AM on 31st December 2010
* Comments (173)
* Add to My Stories
The marriage proposal was apparently a rather romantic affair. On Christmas Eve, the couple watched a late-night movie together and then exchanged gifts: for him a framed photograph of their King Charles Spaniel, for her an engagement ring.
‘She burst into tears,’ he revealed on Twitter at the weekend. ‘This is the happiest Christmas in memory.’
‘The most memorable Christmas ever,’ she tweeted in agreement. ‘I love him.’
All of which might be rather more touching if the prospective groom was not Playboy tycoon Hugh Hefner who, at 84, is 60 years older than his fiancée, a platinum blonde model named Crystal Harris.
Match made in heaven?: Hugh Hefner has become engaged to Crystal Harris over Christmas - despite the 60 year age difference between the couple
Match made in heaven?: Hugh Hefner has become engaged to Crystal Harris over Christmas - despite the 60 year age difference between the couple
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Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Cousin Luke's bladder.
Cousin Luke
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The ****** Card
. Pull the race card.
. Pull the sexual preferences card.
. Pull the insanity card.
. Pull my wife hid my meds card.
. Pull I was on drugs/alcohol/card.
. Pull the religious faith card.
. Pull the "they beat me and tortured me" card.
. Pull the I was from a broken home card.
. Pull the "My Uncle diddled me" card.
. Pull the "I ate too many Twinkies" card...or use all of them at the same time. I am an insane, Native Alaskan, transexual. My life partner hid my Paxil when she thought it was my methadone. She did this when I was at the Mosque praying for the salvation of the soul of my cruel parents, my absentee father and my uncle who molested me when he caught me stealing, then gorging on his case of Twinkies.
Procrastination.
I wrote this some time ago, but it's most relevant today, since another of my colleagues has proved to be a procrastinator...a champion of procrastination...a veritable czar of procrastination. He should have a tattoo that reads "Manana" on his head.
I am a single man. I care for two pets, my house, my yard, repairs, maintenance, my shopping, cooking, sewing and laundry. I do my own auto maintenance, house painting, cleaning and renovation. I have no outside or inside help.
People wonder how I can get so many things done, including taking four college-level classes during the last couple of months. How? I don't procrastinate, I don't sit and stare out the window or at my belly-button, I don't spend hours picking lint off my dick, and I don't waste my time by being hypnotized by the boob tube. I get up early and work, undisturbed, for several hours every day. Rain, shine or snow--during weekends and holidays. No day is different than the rest. I love what I do, and I do what I love.
[Background: Article on Structured Procrastination. What is procrastination and WHY do people procrastinate - from Univ. of Cambridge: http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/procras.html See, also: http://www.powerhomebiz.com/vol72/procrastinate.htm One of the reasons people procrastinate is fear of success. Why do people fear success? See: http://choosetoprosper.com/bcole-fear-success.html ]
GURUS
Engineers for the most part, are un-creative, stupid, and narrow-minded.
I know a lot of engineers. Most of them are not very creative. They are so locked into their process of doing things that the miss the obvious or are stubborn boneheads.
Over the last ten years I have interacted with about fifty of them, and most of them aren't worth one-quarter of a bright. liberal arts major. They should think about, read, and so something outside of their field. Give it a try.
They might learn how to problem solve and think a little more creatively. I'd rather work with a stoned lit major than an engineer. -U.K.
Over the last ten years I have interacted with about fifty of them, and most of them aren't worth one-quarter of a bright. liberal arts major. They should think about, read, and so something outside of their field. Give it a try.
They might learn how to problem solve and think a little more creatively. I'd rather work with a stoned lit major than an engineer. -U.K.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Who is Uncle Kenny ?
A master of scullduggery and attempted buggery,
Uncle Kenny invented the up-skirt camera, one-way glass, software pirating, the nipple ring, all capitalized e-mails, and the loud muffler.
His life has been dedicated to things that irritate men and women of a gentle nature. He abhors talk of endorphins, moderation, and political correctness. He feeds his dogs raw potatoes and horse meat. Sometimes he sticks a dollop of peanut butter in their mouths, lights a smoke, and watches them struggle to get the sticky butter out of the ridges in the roof of their mouth. He calls his lady friend, Fattypants, and he never takes her out in public. They stay at her place, eat, smoke hand-rolled, Indian cigarettes and watch rented videos. Once in a while they play Monopoly, but Kenny cheats and always wins or makes Fattypants cry.
He spends many hours watching old video tapes that he bought at a clearance sale when they closed an adult book store after a mysterious fire burned off the second floor and roof.
Kenny goes out to the Quick Stop a couple of times a day for smokes and and pint bottles of fortified wine. He eats cheese crackers and Milky Ways, chased with ice cold muscatel or tap water with a lemon wedge in it.
Uncle Kenny invented the up-skirt camera, one-way glass, software pirating, the nipple ring, all capitalized e-mails, and the loud muffler.
His life has been dedicated to things that irritate men and women of a gentle nature. He abhors talk of endorphins, moderation, and political correctness. He feeds his dogs raw potatoes and horse meat. Sometimes he sticks a dollop of peanut butter in their mouths, lights a smoke, and watches them struggle to get the sticky butter out of the ridges in the roof of their mouth. He calls his lady friend, Fattypants, and he never takes her out in public. They stay at her place, eat, smoke hand-rolled, Indian cigarettes and watch rented videos. Once in a while they play Monopoly, but Kenny cheats and always wins or makes Fattypants cry.
He spends many hours watching old video tapes that he bought at a clearance sale when they closed an adult book store after a mysterious fire burned off the second floor and roof.
Kenny goes out to the Quick Stop a couple of times a day for smokes and and pint bottles of fortified wine. He eats cheese crackers and Milky Ways, chased with ice cold muscatel or tap water with a lemon wedge in it.
Kenny doesn't drive at all. He rides the bus, or borrows his neighbor's bike. He never washes his feet or clips his toenails. His toenails are long and yellow and grow over and under each toe. He dares someone to see him barefoot.
Uncle Kenny has returned
Watch this space for more scathing news. It will itch like hell when it dries out !!
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