Uncle Kenny's BLOG

Old photo of Uncle Kenny in High School.

2012-02-04T17:14:00.000-08:00

Kenny was the drum major at Downey High, and he wore his uniform night and day, swearing it was a "chick magnet."

Forbidden Knowledge TV

2012-02-04T12:39:00.000-08:00

Forbidden Knowledge TV

Douchebag

2011-12-25T06:51:00.000-08:00

Backward baseball cap.

Lots of unrelated writing on shirt/jacket

Hipster douche goattee

"Cool" stare into space

Is it normal for a straight guy to not be attracted to vaginas? : AskReddit

2011-12-06T10:33:00.000-08:00

Is it normal for a straight guy to not be attracted to vaginas? : AskReddit

Katherine Heigl hates balls [video] - Holy Kaw!

2011-12-01T10:46:00.000-08:00

Katherine Heigl hates balls [video] - Holy Kaw!

Guys Knows Girl is Cheating, Tattoos This |

2011-11-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

Guys Knows Girl is Cheating, Tattoos This |

Purity Tests

2011-11-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

Purity TestsFor all you perves and swine out there.

bibles-for-haiti.jpg (474×421)

2011-11-02T12:56:00.000-07:00

bibles-for-haiti.jpg (474×421)

Mug Shot of the Week from Tempe PD: 21-Year-Old Sean Sexton - Phoenix News - Valley Fever

2011-11-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

Mug Shot of the Week from Tempe PD: 21-Year-Old Sean Sexton - Phoenix News - Valley Fever

Paul Moran, Northern Ireland Man, Tries To Turn Feces Into Gold, Ends Up In Jail

2011-10-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

Paul Moran, Northern Ireland Man, Tries To Turn Feces Into Gold, Ends Up In Jail

Dueling, twin banjos

2011-10-21T12:20:00.001-07:00

Overkill

2011-10-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

Imagine his grandchildren crawling up on his knee and getting fingers and buttered toast caught in his apparatus.

GuyHaus

2011-10-20T09:29:00.000-07:00

GuyHausEvery dick needs this service.

Florida Woman Arrested After Sucking on Police Officer's Prosthetic Penis - Miami News - Riptide 2.0

2011-09-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

Florida Woman Arrested After Sucking on Police Officer's Prosthetic Penis - Miami News - Riptide 2.0 Hahahahahahahahahahaha

The World's Rudest Hand Gestures - James Gibney - International - The Atlantic

2011-09-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

The World's Rudest Hand Gestures - James Gibney - International - The Atlantic

No more dancing around issues in feminine hygiene - Yahoo! News

2011-09-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

No more dancing around issues in feminine hygiene - Yahoo! News

Scanner Report- Sept. 14 - Roger the Scanner Guy - Santa Barbara Edhat

2011-09-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

Scanner Report- Sept. 14 - Roger the Scanner Guy - Santa Barbara Edhat

Fark.com | Actual headline: "Gordon Ramsay porn dwarf eaten by badger"

2011-09-12T19:03:00.000-07:00

Fark.com | Actual headline: "Gordon Ramsay porn dwarf eaten by badger"

Outlaw old men in short with black socks.

2011-08-27T10:29:00.001-07:00

http://www.thebounce.ca/files/oldmanshorts.jpg

Explore your sexuality, dude.

2011-08-27T10:20:00.000-07:00

http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/3009.jpg

Kentucky Walmart shopper

2011-08-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

http://media.peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/3043.jpg

Man arrested for indecency with doll near elementary school | Raw Replay

2011-08-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

Man arrested for indecency with doll near elementary school | Raw Replay

A man in Spring Hill, Tennessee was arrested this week after officers say they found him under a bridge near Allendale Elementary School, committing a lewd act on a two-foot-tall baby doll he’d cut holes into. They were called out to the area after people driving to the school spotted him kneeling on a towel, naked.

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Million-dollar Italian supercar barred by U.S. safety regulator | SmartPlanet

2011-08-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

Million-dollar Italian supercar barred by U.S. safety regulator | SmartPlanet: "Million-dollar Italian supercar barred by U.S. safety regulator
More, wretched excess for millionaires and movie "stars".

By Channtal Fleischfresser | August 10, 2011, 4:00 AM PDT

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Pussy Natural Energy Drink

2011-08-07T11:34:00.000-07:00

Pussy Natural Energy Drink: "- Sent using Google Toolbar" Silly. Silly. Silly.

Heavy Duty, Adjustable Toilet Seat Can Hold 1,000 Pounds

2011-08-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

Heavy Duty, Adjustable Toilet Seat Can Hold 1,000 Pounds: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Man Finds Suspicious White Powder in Florida Keys, Decides to Snort It, and Dies - Broward/Palm Beach News - The Daily Pulp

2011-08-02T11:29:00.000-07:00

Man Finds Suspicious White Powder in Florida Keys, Decides to Snort It, and Dies - Broward/Palm Beach News - The Daily Pulp: "Man Finds Suspicious White Powder in Florida Keys, Decides to Snort It, and Dies

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast

2011-07-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

WTF with Marc Maron Podcast: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Little Clay Thing Bought At Arts Festival | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

2011-07-16T06:40:00.000-07:00

Little Clay Thing Bought At Arts Festival | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Nice. Gun tattoo. People of Walmart from Florida.

2011-05-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=46605

First Listen: Cast Recording, 'The Book Of Mormon' : NPR

2011-05-10T11:57:00.000-07:00

First Listen: Cast Recording, 'The Book Of Mormon' : NPR: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Writing a Condolence Note - Grief Support at LegacyConnect

2011-04-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

Writing a Condolence Note - Grief Support at LegacyConnect: "Focusing only on happy thoughts, it is usually easy for most of us to write an anniversary or birthday greeting. But writing a condolence note is something altogether different because, quite often, we don't know what to say

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Buy truck nuts for your pickup, you stupid asshole.

2011-04-22T16:25:00.001-07:00

http://www.bumpernuts.com/

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

2011-03-31T12:02:00.001-07:00

I have sold this BLOG to a fellow in Colorado. He paid handsomely for this, since his name is Kenny and he is an uncle with unusual tastes, deep pockets, and a sense of the absurd and bizarre.

Some twat said duct tape was a guy thing.

2011-03-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

I went to my truck, grabbed a new roll, and came back and took a couple of turns of 2" tape around her head and shut her up while I explained she was being a sexist.

My Moroccan Neighbors Won't Stop Their Damn Ululating | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

2011-03-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

My Moroccan Neighbors Won't Stop Their Damn Ululating | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "My Moroccan Neighbors Won't Stop Their Damn Ululating

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Kickin’ in the front seat? The music factory pumping out crappy teen music

2011-03-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Kickin’ in the front seat? The music factory pumping out crappy teen music

The Angry Traveler’s Guide to Obscene Gestures |

2011-01-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

The Angry Traveler’s Guide to Obscene Gestures |: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

The United States of Shame (CHART) |

2011-01-25T06:50:00.000-08:00

The United States of Shame (CHART) |: "- Sent using Google Toolbar" We love our pets in Washington.

Dumbass

2011-01-22T12:00:00.000-08:00

I Love Charts

2011-01-14T12:59:00.000-08:00

I Love Charts: "- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Police: Dispute Over Snow

2011-01-11T14:07:00.001-08:00

Police: Dispute Over Snow Leaves Man Hit With Shovel - News Story - WHIO Dayton: "Police: Dispute Over Snow Leaves Man Hit With Shovel

Posted: 4:13 pm EST January 10, 2011Updated: 7:53 am EST January 11, 2011
BELLEFONTAINE, Ohio -- A Bellefontaine man was arrested after police said he attacked his neighbor with a shovel.

The attack happened over the weekend near North Elm Street.

According to police, 48-year-old Scott Wayt and his neighbor were removing snow from their driveways at the same time. Wayt's neighbor was using a snow blower, which was blowing snow into an alley near Wayt's home, police said.

In retaliation, Wayt shoveled the snow back over a retaining wall and into the other man's driveway, police said. After the snow hit the man in the face, he climbed the retaining wall to confront Wayt and that is when he hit the man in the head with his shovel, police said.

Wayt now faces charges of felonious assault. The victim was treated by medics and is expected to be fine.

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

UK has always fantasized about taking out a punk with a snow shovel. One whack on the back of the head until the shovel and handle ring!

Guest Blog: The top 10 life-forms living on Lady Gaga (and you)

2011-01-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

Guest Blog: The top 10 life-forms living on Lady Gaga (and you): "The top 10 life-forms living on Lady Gaga (and you)

By Rob Dunn | Jan 4, 2011 10:03 AM

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion more like a squalid prison say former Playmates | Mail Online

2011-01-04T17:42:00.000-08:00

Hugh Hefner's Playboy mansion more like a squalid prison say former Playmates | Mail Online: "Playboy mansion? More like a squalid prison: Former Playmates tell of 'grubby' world inside Hugh Hefner's empire

By David Leafe
Last updated at 12:39 AM on 31st December 2010

* Comments (173)
* Add to My Stories

The marriage proposal was apparently a rather romantic affair. On Christmas Eve, the couple watched a late-night movie together and then exchanged gifts: for him a framed photograph of their King Charles Spaniel, for her an engagement ring.

‘She burst into tears,’ he revealed on Twitter at the weekend. ‘This is the happiest Christmas in memory.’

‘The most memorable Christmas ever,’ she tweeted in agreement. ‘I love him.’
All of which might be rather more touching if the prospective groom was not Playboy tycoon Hugh Hefner who, at 84, is 60 years older than his fiancée, a platinum blonde model named Crystal Harris.
Match made in heaven?: Hugh Hefner has become engaged to Crystal Harris over Christmas - despite the 60 year age difference between the couple

Match made in heaven?: Hugh Hefner has become engaged to Crystal Harris over Christmas - despite the 60 year age difference between the couple

- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Cousin Luke's bladder.

2010-12-29T16:08:00.001-08:00

Cousin Luke

...had such a nervous bladder, he couldn't even pee in front of himself. He had to squeeze his eyes, tight, and hope that he wouldn't miss his mark.

The ****** Card

2010-12-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

Play cards? Next time you pull a card - that is if you are in a position that calls for drastic measures, pull a card.

. Pull the race card.
. Pull the sexual preferences card.
. Pull the insanity card.
. Pull my wife hid my meds card.
. Pull I was on drugs/alcohol/card.
. Pull the religious faith card.
. Pull the "they beat me and tortured me" card.
. Pull the I was from a broken home card.
. Pull the "My Uncle diddled me" card.
. Pull the "I ate too many Twinkies" card...or use all of them at the same time. I am an insane, Native Alaskan, transexual. My life partner hid my Paxil when she thought it was my methadone. She did this when I was at the Mosque praying for the salvation of the soul of my cruel parents, my absentee father and my uncle who molested me when he caught me stealing, then gorging on his case of Twinkies.

Procrastination.

2010-12-28T11:44:00.001-08:00

I wrote this some time ago, but it's most relevant today, since another of my colleagues has proved to be a procrastinator...a champion of procrastination...a veritable czar of procrastination. He should have a tattoo that reads "Manana" on his head.

I am a single man. I care for two pets, my house, my yard, repairs, maintenance, my shopping, cooking, sewing and laundry. I do my own auto maintenance, house painting, cleaning and renovation. I have no outside or inside help.

People wonder how I can get so many things done, including taking four college-level classes during the last couple of months. How? I don't procrastinate, I don't sit and stare out the window or at my belly-button, I don't spend hours picking lint off my dick, and I don't waste my time by being hypnotized by the boob tube. I get up early and work, undisturbed, for several hours every day. Rain, shine or snow--during weekends and holidays. No day is different than the rest. I love what I do, and I do what I love.

[Background: Article on Structured Procrastination. What is procrastination and WHY do people procrastinate - from Univ. of Cambridge: http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk/procras.html See, also: http://www.powerhomebiz.com/vol72/procrastinate.htm One of the reasons people procrastinate is fear of success. Why do people fear success? See: http://choosetoprosper.com/bcole-fear-success.html ]

GURUS

2010-12-28T11:38:00.001-08:00

I am always amazed at the dipshitz that refer to themselves as GURUS of some kind. Some are hair and nail gurus, others refer to themselves as computer gurus, etc. The only guru they know is the guru in their shorts. A REAL GURU never refers to him or herself as a guru. They either ARE or they ARE NOT. Wakeup, pissants!

Engineers for the most part, are un-creative, stupid, and narrow-minded.

2010-12-28T11:36:00.001-08:00

I know a lot of engineers. Most of them are not very creative. They are so locked into their process of doing things that the miss the obvious or are stubborn boneheads.

Over the last ten years I have interacted with about fifty of them, and most of them aren't worth one-quarter of a bright. liberal arts major. They should think about, read, and so something outside of their field. Give it a try.

They might learn how to problem solve and think a little more creatively. I'd rather work with a stoned lit major than an engineer. -U.K.

Mark Zuckerberg - Gotta Hand It To The Little Fucker | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

2010-12-28T11:18:00.000-08:00

Mark Zuckerberg - Gotta Hand It To The Little Fucker | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "Mark Zuckerberg -
- Sent using Google Toolbar"

Who is Uncle Kenny ?

2010-12-27T11:54:00.000-08:00

A master of scullduggery and attempted buggery,
Uncle Kenny invented the up-skirt camera, one-way glass, software pirating, the nipple ring, all capitalized e-mails, and the loud muffler.

His life has been dedicated to things that irritate men and women of a gentle nature. He abhors talk of endorphins, moderation, and political correctness. He feeds his dogs raw potatoes and horse meat. Sometimes he sticks a dollop of peanut butter in their mouths, lights a smoke, and watches them struggle to get the sticky butter out of the ridges in the roof of their mouth. He calls his lady friend, Fattypants, and he never takes her out in public. They stay at her place, eat, smoke hand-rolled, Indian cigarettes and watch rented videos. Once in a while they play Monopoly, but Kenny cheats and always wins or makes Fattypants cry.

He spends many hours watching old video tapes that he bought at a clearance sale when they closed an adult book store after a mysterious fire burned off the second floor and roof.

Kenny goes out to the Quick Stop a couple of times a day for smokes and and pint bottles of fortified wine. He eats cheese crackers and Milky Ways, chased with ice cold muscatel or tap water with a lemon wedge in it.

Kenny doesn't drive at all. He rides the bus, or borrows his neighbor's bike. He never washes his feet or clips his toenails. His toenails are long and yellow and grow over and under each toe. He dares someone to see him barefoot.

Uncle Kenny has returned

2010-12-27T11:24:00.003-08:00

Watch this space for more scathing news. It will itch like hell when it dries out !!